


Remember

by fadedink



Series: Days of Christmas - 2008 [29]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Het
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-29
Updated: 2008-12-29
Packaged: 2017-10-22 11:03:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/237382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fadedink/pseuds/fadedink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel has some (possibly) unwanted words of wisdom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remember

**Author's Note:**

> The 'twenty-ninth day of Christmas', and this one is for [](http://keyweegirlie.livejournal.com/profile)[**keyweegirlie**](http://keyweegirlie.livejournal.com/), because I love her like that, even though I don't think this is what she had in mind. :)

_**FIC: "Remember" - 1/1, PG, Dean/Anna, Supernatural**_  
Title: Remember  
Fandom: Supernatural  
Pairing: Dean/Anna, Castiel  
Rating: PG  
Summary: Castiel has some (possibly) unwanted words of wisdom.  
Disclaimer: Fiction, folks. I don't own any of the characters...they're all the property of Eric Kripke. I'm just playing with them for a bit.  
Notes: The 'twenty-ninth day of Christmas', and this one is for [](http://keyweegirlie.livejournal.com/profile)[**keyweegirlie**](http://keyweegirlie.livejournal.com/) , because I love her like that, even though I don't think this is what she had in mind. :)

  
  
 _I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose  
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose  
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night  
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light_  
\- Sarah McLachlan

It's cold outside, colder than Dean thinks it should be. He leans against the Impala, looks up at the stars, and ponders that for a while. All he manages to do is send his thoughts around in circles.

There's no answer, and he knows it.

"She is with God again."

The low voice comes from just over his right shoulder, but Dean doesn't turn. There's no need to -- that voice is quickly becoming as familiar as Sam's. "I know that," he says, after a moment. "You're preaching to the choir."

He can sense more than see Castiel's puzzlement. And when the angel steps around in front of him, Dean isn't disappointed. The brow is furrowed, blue eyes narrowed in confusion. But it all clears the second Castiel lays eyes on Dean's face.

"I see," is all he says.

For several minutes, they stand there, watching each other. Then Dean looks away, eyes drawn to the back seat of his car, and his brain is wracked by vivid flashes of the previous night. Pain spears through him, sharp and bright, and Dean struggles to keep it inside. "You see," he manages to say, after the silence has grown unbearable. "You see what?"

"You miss her," Castiel says, still watching Dean, and when did he get so close? "You have...feelings? For her. It's natural, Dean, after what the two of you shared."

"Damn, do you know _everything_?" Dean glares at Castiel, but the glare fades fast. After all, what use is anger against a being who barely understands it.

"Not everything, no. But where it concerns you?" One shoulder lifts in a shrug, something Dean can't ever recall seeing Castiel do. Perhaps the angel _is_ learning from them.

"You know everything that concerns me?" He knows he's doing little more than parroting Castiel's words, but Dean wants to make sure that he understands what Castiel means.

"Most of it."

Most... Dean straightens up, trying to push his memories of Anna down, away, so he can deal with what Castiel is saying. "What parts _don't_ you know?"

"The unimportant parts," Castiel admits, and what looks like a ghost of a smile flits across his face. "The things I don't need to know in order to help you."

"The things...and just what part of what happened between me and Anna qualifies as 'need to know'?"

"All of it," Castiel says, softly, simply, and Dean just stares.

 _All of it._ He isn't sure how to answer that, doesn't see how his sex life matters in the grand scheme of the Apocalypse and all. So he closes his eyes and whispers, "Why?"

"Because you have to remember," Castiel says, gentle fingertips touching Dean's forehead in a light caress. "Your time in Hell changed you, left a stain on your soul. What happened between yourself and Anna was just the first step to cleansing that stain."

He pauses, looks at Dean with eyes that are suddenly too ancient for the vessel he inhabits.

"The first step," he says, and this time it really is a smile that touches his lips, "to becoming the man you are _supposed_ to be."


End file.
